Guy or Gal?
by OnlyANorthernSong
Summary: Weirdness, I know. Sorry. My first try at J'onnXFlash. J'onn thinks about the Flash's depth, as Flash has a few questions of his own. Does the title give a hint?


This is my first (and it will be my worst as soon as I write another one- promise) J'onnxFlash... I plan on writing a better one, so please forgive the following. Just putting as many stories up as possible to celebrate my B-day...

_**GUY OR GAL? **_

"Hey...um, J'onn?" J'onn turned, to see Flash, looking uneasy and smiling nervously. His face softened. Although Wally had mind barriers that he, for the most part, respectively left erect, he knew most of Wally's mind. Almost by heart. When J'onn felt scared, or lonely, he would connect his mind to Flash's... of course, he never told the speedster. When he had first come from 'Mars' (as the humans called it), he had searched for heroes. Of course, the reason he had originally chosen him was purely for his speed. This was before he had a chance to thoroughly go through his mind, dissecting it into sections, and deciding whether he was truly a good choice, or a rash one.

When the mission was over, and Superman had suggested the Justice League, Flash was the first to agree that it was a good idea (although he mentioned that the name was corny. At the time, J'onn had wondered what the yellow vegetable had to do with saving people's lives, or why Flash had used it as an adjective). J'onn had decided that he would look through his mind thoroughly about two days in. It had taken a while to relax and acclimate to the world he now belonged to.

He had found the barriers perplexing, for he hadn't sensed it ever on Mars, except towards the end, during the war. He finally realized the memories hidden behind the barriers were not pleasant, and although the speedster did not forget it, he didn't think of them voluntarily, and he had attempted to repress said memories. This had intrigued J'onn, but had left them be, for the moment. He instead searched through everything else.

He had been overwhelmed by love, kindness, and pain in the first few seconds. Then, he managed to seep through the emotions that were overflowing, and found himself within the thoughts of the Flash. It was quite confusing...

_Damn... think about it, West. Okay...there were no fingerprints inside, or on the outside of the shoe... damn it, I know this! It's gotta be this League. I've never messed up before. But still, I'm on the same team as Superman... and Batman part-time. That dude is SCARY! But... wait... what was I thinking about... The tips of the shoelaces! Duh! Gotta call... damn, I'm tired. And hungry... Stay focused, Wal. Call Boss. Call Boss. Call Boss._

The mantra continued until Flash was on a phone. After his phone call, the thoughts continued...

_God, I'm pooped. I wonder if there'll be any missions tomorrow. I can't handle it... I wonder if I can get a date... I wonder if Bats would take that as an excuse...hehehe...Bats...I wonder why he chose Bats... why not butterflies? I have to ask him that..._

J'onn moved past the thoughts, and into the memories, feeling around. Years of school and being a superhero plummeted down onto him. Visiting his grandmother...but no mention of his parents. The mental barriers called to him, but he declined the temptation and moved on. The grandmother's funeral. He felt a horrible emptiness that sickened him, and he saw a man that he - Flash- despised. He realized slowly that it was the father. He moved on.

He learned more then anyone except Flash knew about Flash. He learned his name, his job, his past, his feelings, his reasons, his secrets, his shames. His fears were hidden, and J'onn barely had to guess what they were.

It had been a year or two until he traveled into Flash's mind again. Yes, he hadn't visited it since an encounter with a man named John Dee, titled Dr. Destiny. That time had been rather...disturbing. The hopelessness that had come from the young man had been... it had been too much. When he had acted proud after foiling the trap, he still had an ache. Since then, he hadn't visited again. But after they had been transported to the Lords' universe, he had sensed- without even going into his mind -such pain, such loss...such guilt, that he had had no choice but to investigate. When he came back, the thoughts had changed drastically. The Flash had been feeling especially bad the day he visited. He was supposed to be sleeping, but J'onn, on monitoring duty, felt him awaken, feeling terrified, and helpless. His thoughts echoed the feelings.

_Damn. That DAMN dream. Again. That isn't gonna happen here, Wally, and you worrying about it isn't gonna help if it does. God... what if it does? What if they actually do all that...? No, they wouldn't. They don't even like me that much- I know for a fact that Bats hates me. I don't know what was different about that other Flash, but he sure as hell wasn't like me... they don't like me, and they definitely wouldn't KILL if I died. Especially not the big guy..._

A flashback pounded onto J'onn, and he allowed his mind to smother it, so that he could see it. He saw the Lord's Superman attacking Flash. He felt fear.

_He wanted to kill me, and he would've, too. Maybe I should just quit being the Flash. If I died, then they wouldn't even know- I'd be another name on the news, and another stone in the cemetery... There wouldn't be any change in the League. The only one who might know who I am is Bats... that guy knows everything...or J'onn... but J'onn wouldn't go creeping around in my brain. Ew... the thought of someone hanging out here is creepy._

J'onn guiltily brought his mind back. He decided to return when his comrade was unconscious. When he did, he crashed down the barriers for himself, but not for Flash. He skimmed over them, feeling sick. He returned to monitoring duty.

"Yes, Flash?"

He had figured out his feelings for the man he understood for the most part now, who knew nothing of him. He knew he loved him. There were small parts of his crush he did not completely grasp, but he understood the supposedly unfailing optimism, the supposedly real grin, the supposedly slow mind. He didn't understand why they existed... but he understood that they did.

There were a few parts that Flash seemed to have meticulously hidden from J'onn personally, which made him extremely curious, and he wanted nothing more then to see what it was. But he respected his wishes.

When he was deep in meditation, he would picture Flash, and he would see him completely. Something that was brilliant about 'Martians' was their mind capability. He could _see_ the emotions, intermixed with Wally's physical appearance. He could _see _Flash more then anyone ever could.

"I wanted to explain last night." J'onn nodded slightly. He had felt sadness emanating from Flash the night before, and instead of breaking into his mind to see what was wrong, he decided to comfort him... for real. To _ask_ what was wrong. The young man had been crying in his pillow, incredibly quietly. When he knocked at the door, he could feel The Flash wrapping his emotions into the optimistic mask he wore over his mask. When he answered the door, J'onn didn't play oblivious. He had asked what was wrong. Being blunt, he had stated that he had been crying. Flash had blushed. There was an awkward second or two, before he lied and said he had spilled ketchup onto his suit, and that he couldn't find it because it was red like his suit, so he had cried. A tiny bit. J'onn was smart enough to play dumb. He smirked, then said he was glad nothing was wrong.

"All right, Flash. What was the matter?" Flash blushed.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking..." He felt the tortured sadness in Flash, and felt bad that he wasn't trusted enough to be told about this. He had found that though Wally West acted trusting, his trust was actually extremely hard to gain. Although, even if he didn't give it away, he always felt horribly betrayed and terrible when it was taken advantage of, or if he was ever betrayed, whether or not he trusted them. He forgave easily, however... J'onn had contemplated telling him of his visits to his mind, for the latter reason, but the fact his trust was so hard to gain... that he had not even received it yet...

"Yes?"

"I mean...I spill ketchup a lot." Flash told him, staring at the ground, grinning the inane grin that didn't mean anything. "So... if you ever do hear something-"

"I will always know." J'onn told him with a nod. "And if anyone else hears you... I will explain. About the ketchup." Flash nodded, thankfully.

"Thank you, J'onn."

"Although..."

"What is it?" He sounded scared... trapped.

"You may wish to request that ketchup be bought." Flash's grin flickered.

"Uh-"

"Will you tell me what was wrong... I am curious." Flash smiled at him... was it sincerity?

"Sure. My mom died yesterday." J'onn felt horrible. He almost wished he had simply read his mind. And yet... this was better.

"I am sorry." Flash smiled easily. To J'onn's surprise, it wasn't all a lie. There was true amusement.

"Bet my dads sorrier."

"Oh. Did he love her greatly?" The amusement died, and a sad smile crossed his face.

"Nah.. I don't think so. But unless he gets a good lawyer, he might get up to life. Maybe even death row." There was hope in the last addition...

"Flash- I-"

"Calm down, Marvin."

"Marvin..?"

"The martian!" Flash replied with a smile. J'onn smiled lightly. This was so much better then hearing his thoughts. "Hey...J'onn?" A pause.

"Yes?"

"Not to be mean, or anything..."

"Yes?"

"What are you?"

"Pardon?"

"Guy or gal?"

"Umm..." Flash blushed.

"Sorry. Stupid, right? Guy..." He ran to his room. Hope lighting his heart as he guessed what was in the hidden part of Wally's mind, J'onn knocked on the door.

He began to morph...

--

Weird gross ending you say? Sorry... If this was NOT your reaction (Or if it was and you still liked it)　Ｒｅｖｉｅｗ！！！

NOW!!　ＲＥＶＩＥＷ


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